Underwear police...

Did you know Aya got a second job? Vice President of Research by day and underwear police at night. It seems as though Aya loves to inspect and critique my underwear.

Apparently, it isn't okay to keep old underwear. No, not old underwear as in the underwear that I wore in high school. Old as in a few years old....all broken in....all nice and soft....and maybe with a few extra holes that weren't there before.

How did 'extra' holes get in my underwear...I have no idea. Do I care? No. Do I wonder? No. Aya on the other hand thinks it is one of the world's greatest mysteries as how I get holes in my underwear and how it doesn't bother me. I think of it as 'extra' ventilation. More fresh air that comes in and out...extra holes to get rid of 'foul' air.

I like to think of it as it isn't 'old' underwear it is kind of like 'bonus' underwear. I have underwear with 'extra' features not found in new, starchy underwear.

So, just a heads up...if you think Aya is checking you out...she is just making her rounds as the underwear police!

LA Nightlife...

With the exception of work outtings, I haven't been to a club in a long time. Even at a 'work' event the clubs are usually booked for private parties which translates into 90% IT geeks and 10% marketing people running the event. Not a great ratio.

This weekend was Oscar's birthday so we went to a restaurant/lounge and then club. Being that dinner started at 9:30, I was able to go but Aya had to stay home with JT. I wasn't thrilled about staying out too late as I had a basketball the next day and even told Aya I would keep my drinking to a minimum.

Did I mention that it had been a long time since I went to a club? My club days were in college or after college but still the same clubs. I never really went to an upscale, hollywood club. In one word...hmm, make this two words...INTERESTING and EXPENSIVE.

First, EXPENSIVE, $12-$15 bucks a drink. When you go out with Oscar that usually means a 8 drink minimum. INTERESTING...because EXPENSIVE translates to very well dressed...very pretty girls. It practically makes you forget or not care that the drinks are so EXPENSIVE because the view is so good.

Seriously...the type of girls were better than you see on a TV show. The strange thing was, there wasn't a whole lot of guys. Girls were there in bunches...the ratio was maybe 3-1 girls. Even the girls in our group, were checking out the other girls because you couldn't not look at the low cut dresses.

Definately too old to be out that late. Definately too cheap to be going to places like that. Definately too married to enjoy a place like that.

Grim outlook…

I was a pretty happy camper with my subscription to Playboy and People magazine. Easy reading, lots of pictures and short articles.

Recently, I subscribed to National Geographic. I dunno, maybe I wanted to see nekkid pictures of Shanik-wa with some stretched out neck, with gawdy hoop jewelry from some remote African tribe. Just kidding.

I don't watch the news, I don't read the paper unless it is the sports section…which I read online. Now, I wonder if I am better off without National Geographic. For example, some of the past articles that I recently read were about the shrinking rain forest, global warming, pollution in Africa and the over fishing of the seas. National Geographic also has amazing pictures, stats and before and after pictures...like in the rainforest before it started getting cut back. The polar ice caps 40 years ago and today. Amazing stuff. Sad stuff.

The statistics and the pictures are sad. It makes you wonder what kind of planet we are going to have left and if the planet can sustain the human population. Most of the time, I think, "I will be dead before this personally affects me" but now I am not so sure. I might be near dead but then there is JT to think about. I sort of feel helpless to do anything because I don't think one person can make a difference...it is like voting. No one wins an election by just ONE vote.

I guess reading National Geographic has raisesed my awareness and makes me think I should start doing something on my part to leave this world a slightly better place. Maybe.

Maybe, I should do something. Hmm, I could cancel my susbscription and just pretend to be deaf, dumb and blind. Look out, I just may start recycling. Hey, it's a start.

UCLA...

I stole this picture from Roger and Shirley, as Jessica was also watching UCLA make their way to consecutive Final Four appearances.


Aya, JT and I rooted UCLA to a win over Kansas on Saturday. Good thing UCLA won because JT wore his UCLA jersey all day long!

JT holding Elmo....is now 16 months...time is just zooming by.

Does anyone talk this?

Over the weekend Aya was playing with JT. Aya was throwing JT up in the air and saying, "Takai".

Using my bilingual abilities and my inquisitive nature I said, "Expensive? Why is JT expensive?"

Aya then said "takai" means something other than expensive, you know like a homonym.

Uh-huh. A homo-what? What the heck is a homonym?

Definition: Homonym - two words are homonyms if they are pronounced or spelled the same way but have different meanings

Of course, when you see the definition, you think, "Oh yeah, I knew that." Sure.

Naturally, Miss Smarty pants tells me I should go on the television show Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader…because I am so not! Aya then asks, "You do know what a "synonym" is, right?"

I coolly answer, "Of course I know that…I put Synonym (cinnamon) on my toast!"

Definition: Synonyms are different words with similar or identical meanings and are interchangeable.

More examples of English synonyms are:

baby and infant (noun)
student and pupil (noun)
pretty and attractive (adjective)

Aya then asks, "Didn't you learn that in school?"

Hmm, I am pretty sure I learned it in school at some point. I told her, I probably learned it for that week's quiz and then jettisoned it from my memory bank. I mean who goes around talking that way...do you know a homonym and a synonym?

I think in my next staff meeting, I am going to say, "Hmm, nice status update, but do you think you can change the first portion and use different synonyms?" Ha! I bet people won't know what I am talking about. It is much easier to say, "Look you retard, use a different word to make this status update sexier."

Electric Shaver...

I forgot to mention, one of my latest internet shopping gadgets included an electric razor. I have always been curious and wanted an electric razor but I never wanted to pay for one. I figured why pay for an electric razor if it stinks??

I have always used a razor and luckily I have the type of job where I don't have to shave everyday. Since I don't shave everyday, I get lazy and I forget to change the razor blade. I guess it isn't so much that I am lazy but more because I am cheap. Thus, I cut myself or get razor burn, blah-blah-blah.

In any case, I got a deal on an electric razor for $20 bucks. I figured it couldn't be difficult to use the electric razor but sadly I was mistaken. One, the razor hardly cut and two, it didn't really save me any time.

Yes, I know an electric razor won't cut as well as a razor but I didn't realize that it doesn't cut very well. It has taken me about 3 days to figure out how to use the razor decently. I even had to call a friend to ask him if I was using the razor correctly. Only then I find out that the cheap electric razors stink and I wouldn't get a cut unless I buy one of the expensive ones.

This again leads to that vicious circle. Do I pay a lot of money for an electric razor just to try it and test it to see if I like it or do I just keep using a razor?

Life before the internet…

Sometimes I wonder what did I do before the arrival of the internet? This past week I went on a little shopping ‘spree’. I bought new RAM for my laptop, I bought a remote control mini helicopter and I bought an LED faucet. Totally random items that in all honesty, I could have lived without.

I wish I could say my purchases worked out, but the RAM didn’t work in my old laptop. Ever hear of PC100 sodimm 144 pin ram? Yeah, old RAM…but cheap. I have to return it.

My mini helicopter is pretty nice…except that it doesn’t work now. I think the batteries are dead. It would be a nice toy for work, but it isn’t bad flying it around the house after JT goes to sleep. I tried to get Aya to take video but she hardly even knows how to work the digital camera.

On to the best gadget I bought last week…an LED faucet. It basically is an extension of your faucet and makes the water color ‘appear’ neon blue. When the water gets above 88 degrees it turns the water red. Too bad the attachment is ugly but I think it works well. If you go to the bathroom in the dark and you don’t want 300 watts of light like our bathroom, you can turn on the faucet to get a nice neon glow AND you can wash your hands after.

Owie...

Okay, a follow-up post from yesterday. The photo looks like JT has a big owie on his face, but we have insect bandaids. I think yesterday was a scorpion and today it is a grasshopper.

In any case, JT was running at my parents house, tripped, fell and landed on the leg of the bar stool. The leg of the chair caught JT just above the eyebrow and he had a bloody gash. Boys will be boys...just one of many 'owie-s' to come.

Ron, you may have got the poopie entry, but tonight JT peed before getting into the tub and then peed when he got out of the tub. I was on pee-pee patrol...I think I prefer the poopie than wiping up fresh warm pee.

Crap...

This entry is dedicated to Ron:

Changing diapers is kind of like the Discovery channels dirty job's. Being this is my first (and most likely last) child, diaper changing was new for me. At first it just strange changing a babies diaper.

The first week the poop is a black, sticky tar like substance. Very strange. The next few months it is yellow and looks like bird seed. Not so bad, kinda liquid and pasty...no smell...no worries.

After 6 months, the JT starting eating solid food. Well now...I too eat solid foods. What does that translate too? Yup, smelly poop. Being a 6 month old doesn't eat a whole lot, JT doesn't have big poop...but they are smelly.

Fast forward 6 months to a year old. Yup, big ole poop. Ron, see below:

Ron, this is what you will have to look foward too one day. The poop is too big and stinky to go in the diaper pail, so now *** I *** have to ***GRAB*** the poop and throw it in the toilet. It went from bizarre poop, to smelly poop, to touching smelly poop!

So to everyone out there thinking about having kids...no one tells you this stuff...and no one shows it either. No need to thank me. I wish someone had warned me about this....crap.

Sick...

I don't know what has been wrong with me the past 3 months but I am sick again. I haven't being feeling well for most of the week. Not sick...but just not 100%. I have been tired and sore...but I haven't been doing anything.

It is weird because I was telling Aya that I am just sore to the 'touch'. I guess, I officially got sick last night as I had fever, chills and body aches.

Luckily it isn't like I was in Vegas...much more mild case but I haven't been sick like this in years. Maybe it is time I start going back to the voodoo doctor to help maintain my health.

Beach Day...

Another beach weekend for us. This time we headed out to the beach with Sydney and Ian. Ian is going be JT's own personal giant when he grows up. JT is 4 months older than Ian but we plan to hold JT back so Ian and JT will be in the same classes together.


JT had fun at the beach. JT even ventured out into the ocean water and he loved it. JT was just letting the water hit his feet and then he started going farther and farther out. He would try to outrun the waves coming into shore but went to far and the wave wiped him out. JT didn't like that much...neither did Aya. We didn't plan on going in the water so JT was all wet and sandy. Good times!

Weekend Part V - Chug a Lug

JT is pretty darn curious about everything. If we are eating something he wants to try it. If we are drinking something he wants some.

I was drinking from a water bottle when JT wanted some. I didn't want to give him any but I was done and figured why not. Normally, I will hold the bottle and just give him 'sips' of water. I was kind of tired and just figured, go for it.

This is what happened:

It didn't seem that bad...until you see the full shot:

Actually, you can't really see it but it looks like he has a 'pee' spot and there was water on the ground. I guess 1/2 a bottle of water was too much for the little guy to handle!

Well, that was last weekend. A busy and fun weekend for us!

Weekend Part IV - Jones Soda...

I forgot the reason why and what we were doing, but Stewart and I were looking for this Jones Soda Holiday Pack last year:

The flavors are:

Pea

Dinner Roll

Turkey & Gravy

Sweet Potato

Antacid

A few weeks ago I ran into Stewart and he actually found the holiday pack and bought two. One for me and one for him. Steward wouldn't tell me if the flavors were any good and said I would have to judge for myself.

Not being a selfish person, I waited until Aya and Dawn were free so we could all sample it together.

Up first PEA flavor.

This was not a good sign as Aya was the first to drink:

It was pretty darn funny but no one wanted to go next. I sucked it up and yup, it pretty much sucked. My old office mate MAK attack used to make homemade pea soup. She always offered me some and I always said no, but one time she forced me to try it. It tasted like the soda...YEEECCH!!

I figured Dawn, who eats all sorts of wierd stuff would like it but she didn't like it either. All three of us gave it three thumbs WAY down!

The next course....Dinner Roll Soda.

We rotated the order this time. I was up first. It really wasn't so bad. Perhaps the best of the bunch.
Dawn was a happy camper as well. Could it be anything was better than the PEA soda?

Aya is still not liking any of the flavors.

On to the main course....Turkey and Gravy!


HAHHHAAHHA!!! Self explanatory.

Aya makes the same face when she smells farts!

I actually thought it was decent....until the aftertaste hit me. Good thing Aya took the picture before I made the yuck face.



Dessert time. Sweet Potato.


Phew! Anything is better than what we have had so far. I actually didn't like it much.

Dawn, "Not that bad."

Aya liked it....but then she likes Sweet Potato....and bean pie.

After the meal we all needed some Antacid flavor:

This one actually smelled like Antacid. The others had no real smell to them. Sadly it tasted like Antacid.

Good god. That is just not right. It was like a watered down-carbonated pepto-bismo.

Aya had stomach problems and is always taking Pepto, so this was nothing to her. She liked it!

Definately interesting. Would I drink it or buy it again? No way!! I wish I had them at a happy hour night because I think people would be straight gagging if they drank this stuff with their booze.

I suppose if anyone needs gifts out there for the hard-to-shop for people...get them the Jones Soda Holiday Pack. I am pretty sure no one has tasted this stuff before!

Weekend Part III...Easter Egg Practice

Every year my parents have an easter luncheon. After lunch there is an easter egg hunt for the kids. I was grand and supreme champion for YEARS before I was forced into retirement...who knew there was an age limit?

In any case, I can now relive some of the glory days by watching JT participate. Last year was his first year in the easter egg hunt. JT was 5 1/2 months and I have to say....he sort of stunk. I am being generous by saying he got ONE egg last year. In reality it was more like 1/2 an egg. He got it, dropped it and never seemed interested. Sad effort on his part.

This year we don't want a poor showing because JT is at my parents house 5 days a week. It is like losing on your own home court. Over the weekend we went to Toys R Us and what did I see? Easter eggs. What did I buy? Easter eggs. What did we do when we came home? Practice.

What? Yes, practice. Easter is just over a month away and we are determined to make a better showing than last year. JT actually did quite good. He was getting an egg every 15 seconds and by the end of practice he was down to 8 seconds an egg!

Weekend Part II - Beach...

I wouldn't say this is a 'perk' of being a parent but having kids means you wake up early every day. Sunday morning, we got up ate breakfast, washed cars, played and it was only 9:30 a.m. The weather looked real nice, so we hopped into the car and headed towards the beach.

JT had so much fun watching the boats, the planes, people walking there dogs...he had no idea which way to look because there was so much happening.


There is a lot of beach parking early in the morning and had the whole beach to ourselves!