Jeff wanted to know...

Jeff came over on the weekend and when Aya asked Jeff and Melanie about having kids, Jeff answered back by saying that I have not given it a ringing endorsement.

Well, here is my stance on it after 3 ½ weeks.

** Disclaimer, my thoughts and opinions below does not diminish the fact that I am grateful for having a healthy and happy baby. My main concern is that he is healthy and okay. Everything else is just gravy. **

When I got married everyone wanted to know if I liked being married. It was nice and I would always answer that marriage isn’t for everyone.

Now that I have a kid, everyone asks how it feels to be a parent. My answer is that being a parent is overrated. My reasons for that are the following:

1. The lack of sleep. If you have no kids now and think you are tired, it is sooo much worse once you have kids. Believe it or not you function quite well on getting 50% less sleep than you are used too. The side effect is that after 3 weeks that novelty of having a baby wears off.

2. You start to argue with your spouse over minor things increases. In my case my irritability shoots through the rough and my bi-polar syndrome returns. Also, all the things that your spouse did to annoy you...it still annoys you. Nothing changes.

3. Being a parent is so much harder than I thought. I didn’t think it would be easy but it is harder than I thought. To top it off, I am pretty good at a lot of the things I do. I stink at being a parent. I might not stink but I am ranked #2 in the parenting behind Aya. AYA out of all people is better than me. Not only a little bit better but she is a lot better than me.

4. Sacrifice. When you get married it is about learning to compromise with someone else. It just isn’t me-me-me. Having kids is all about sacrifice. I knew I would have to give up some things but I didn’t realize how many things!

5. No lounging. I can’t lounge by myself. I can’t come and go as I please. I now have to check to see what Aya is doing and if someone is going to be able to watch the kid before doing it. It is like always checking in with your parole officer...only thing is the parole officer is 3 weeks old!

6. Video games. Sure video games might sound petty but for me that is my alone or me time. For the last 20 years I play video games before I go to sleep. It helps get me into the REM state of mind. Now for the last month, no video games. That is like telling a smoker to quit cold turkey. An alcoholic to quit drinking. It just isn’t easy.

7. Basketball. I am actually going to cut down on playing. Sure I wanted to retire last year but now I am sort of forced to cut back. If I do not get enough sleep the night before I found out that I really SUCK when I play ball.

8. The kid likes Aya more than me. For the first 3 weeks no problem. Me and the kid were a-ok. This week, JT discovered his mommy and only his mommy can quiet him down. Great, the kid is wearing out his welcome mat with "the King" now!

9. Day and Night. Why can’t he learn “I” sleep in the night?? How hard can it be to understand nighttime equals sleep time?

10. BORING. Sure the first thing I do when I get home is see the kid. If he is up and smiling it is great. After that (1 minute later) he is pretty boring. He doesn’t do anything. He can’t talk. Can’t throw a ball. Basically he lounges. I suppose the perks are he makes goofy faces and he spazes out when I sneeze or fart on him. The other highlight is watching him hit himself in the face. Not the brightest little guy. I guess he can’t really control his arms so he flails them around….well sometimes he hits his face. Pretty funny stuff.

11. More planning. Gone are the days of just deciding to go on trip. Gone are just getting up and going to the beach. Doubt, because you do not know if your kid is a good traveler. Crap, because you have to carry more stuff for the kid like extra clothes, diapers, strollers and assorted baby stuff…which is all a scam.

12. Responsibility. It is almost like a burden to have someone so dependent on you. I never realized what it would be like to have someone totally depend on you for food, shelter and clothing. College. Geez, I have to save for his college. I will be in my 50's when the boy goes to college.

So after all that is it worth it to have a kid? Like I said in my disclaimer, I am very thankful to have a healthy and happy kid. Is it worth it? From a guys point of view….at 3 weeks….I dunno. I hear it gets better….not sure about that one but I will let you know. All I can say is that having kids is not all sugar and spice and everything nice like people make it out to be.

I can say that I enjoy being married. I am glad Aya and I had time to just enjoy time together. Being married with children is proving to be tougher than expected.